Pretty Zen Hen
February 22, 2021

You’ve been asked to be bridesmaid, but what exactly is expected of you? It’s your first time and you have no idea! Here is our quick and snappy, no fuss bridesmaid duties guide to get you up to speed on how to support your best girl in the lead up to her special day.

Host the hens party

Perhaps the most well known of all bridesmaid duties is also the most fun: to host the hens party! That’s right, the bridesmaids are expected to plan and host the pre-wedding events. This might include a hens party, and sometimes also a bridal shower or kitchen tea.

The maids are also expected to attend other pre-wedding events such as the engagement party, rehearsal dinner and ceremony rehearsal along with post-wedding events such as a brunch the following day. Phew, that’s a lot of events!

Wondering what exactly the difference between a hens party, kitchen tea and bridal shower is? Check out our blog Bridal Shower, Kitchen Tea and Hens Party: The Differences Explained.

Attend wedding related appointments

Bridesmaids will usually attend some of the wedding appointments with the bride. These are typically the girly ones, or appointments for something she is keeping secret from the groom. This could include choosing the bride’s and bridesmaids’ dresses, shoes and accessories; and sometimes hair and make-up trials and floral styling. 

Mannequin wearing wedding dress in wedding dress shop

To pay up, or not…

Speaking of dresses and the like, who’s expected to pay for what? Well, this is a tricky one and there is no correct answer. Some brides will cover the cost of the entire expense of dressing the bridesmaids: We’re talking dress, shoes, accessories, hair, make up, nails, spray tan…

Others will expect the bridesmaids to contribute towards some of the cost. If you have budget restraints (or even if you don’t!) it is a good idea to speak to the bride at the start of her wedding planning journey so that her expectations and your limitations are clear to you both.

Tick off the wedding to-do list

The bride may ask the bridesmaids to help with some wedding related tasks such as a little bit of DIY or perhaps contacting a vendor or two. She may like some help with finding where team bride will get their nails or spray tans done pre-wedding, or she could want you to arrange the collection and safe-keeping of the gifts from the venue post-wedding.

Bride and bridesmaids drinking wine

Treat her

Although you may be expected to fork out for a bridesmaid dress (or perhaps more!), it is good taste to give the bride a gift at her kitchen tea or bridal shower, and the bride and groom a wedding gift. 

Cheers to the happy couple

At least one of the bridesmaids should speak at the wedding and toast the bride and groom. If the idea of public speaking terrifies you, share the task with the other bridesmaids, each saying a few sentences about your friendship with the bride and wish her and her new husband well for the future.

Get ready to celebrate!

And finally, the fun part! Bridesmaids are expected to spend the eve of the wedding with the bride and help her get ready on her big day. Ensure she has enough to eat, drinks plenty of water (in between celebratory champagnes!) and is always looking on point. It’s your job to be the life of the party, but also to ensure the day runs as smoothly and is as stress-free as possible for the bride. Cue the champagne and dancing!

Bridesmaids dancing at wedding

Check out our blog What is the Difference Between a Maid of Honour and Bridesmaid? for a more in-depth look at your role on your best friend’s big day.

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