Pretty Zen Hen
July 20, 2020

It is traditionally the bridesmaids’ job to plan and host bridal showers, hens parties and kitchen teas but perhaps you’re thinking you would rather plan your own. Whatever your reason, don’t feel guilty! It is totally okay to take charge with the planning! Let’s chat why you would want to and discuss three ways to go about planning your own hens party without ruffling any feathers (wink wink).

So, why would you?

Perhaps you are a self-confessed control freak and want your hens party to be just so. Or maybe you really love planning and executing events. It could be that you hate surprises. Or perhaps you feel that you don’t have anyone to ask: Maybe your bridesmaid has just had a baby, lives interstate or overseas, or you don’t have a bridal party. Even if you have chosen not to have a bridal party, your best friends would likely still love to plan your hens party so check first!

Maybe you feel bad and don’t want to put anyone out. Perhaps your bridesmaids are just not the event planning types or are a bit indifferent about it, and by planning your own you can ensure the event is amazing. Whatever your reason, know that it is completely okay to plan your own hens party. And it is also okay to ask for help.

Be honest and open

Due to tradition, your bridesmaids may assume that they will be taking care of planning your pre-wedding celebrations. Be open from the start with an honest conversation that you would prefer to plan your own hens party. It is important to do this soon after asking your girl gang to stand by your side so that they have not already begun planning. Let them know why you would prefer to plan your own, how you would like them to contribute, and chat other ways they can help you in the lead up to the big day.

Pinterest graphic for why it's okay to plan your own hens party

Bounce ideas with your bridesmaids

Even though you are opting to plan your own hens party, let your bridesmaids have some input by bouncing ideas together. It is possible they are just as excited as you are about your hens party and maybe a little disappointed that they aren’t in control of planning an incredible surprise for you. Show them that you value their input by taking their ideas on board. You never know, they might just have some great suggestions that you have not thought of. Don’t forget to check their availability for preferred dates too!

Delegate and stress less

Planning another event so close to your wedding day is a big job. Even if you are taking charge of the organisation, it is a good idea to delegate some of the tasks to others to ease the pressure and involve them in the festivities. For example, one bridesmaid could book activities and the venue once they have been chosen, another could organise catering according to your requirements, and another could collect money off other guests. It may be beneficial to hand over the on the day coordination to someone else so you can truly enjoy the amazing event you have worked so hard to create. Remember, you are also planning a wedding so a little help will be a huge weight off your shoulders.

Four women holding champagne glasses at a hens party

A note for bridesmaids

Perhaps you were looking forward to planning your bestie’s hens party as much as standing beside her as she marries her Mr Right. Now you feel a little deflated and disappointed that this task has been taken away from you. Or maybe you feel a sense of relief as party planning is not your thing or was going to be too difficult for you right now. Either way, respect the bride-to-be’s wishes and offer to help her with the planning, the coordination on the day and of course any other tasks deemed ‘bridesmaid duties’. Even though you are not in control of planning the hens party, you can still help in creating an amazing event for everyone involved and most importantly the bride-to-be.

Planning your own hens party is a good way to ensure it is exactly as you envisioned, but don’t be afraid to involve your bride squad to discuss ideas and help out with tasks.

Okay, ready to plan your own hens party? Read our blog Tens Steps to Planning the Perfect Hens Party and download our free hens party planning starter kit below to kickstart organising an incredible event.

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